Later that night at home, I sat at my desk staring at the piece of paper I jotted Zac's phone number on. I wondered if I should just call him and tell him about Cat, but that still didn't feel right to me. I always thought it just seemed wrong to tell someone over the phone someone died. I guess I felt like if you were going to tell someone about a death, you should at least be there in person if they needed someone to comfort them.

I finally pushed the sheet of paper away from me. On top of plotting Barbara's demise, the fact I’d never heard any mention of Zac had been nagging away at me for the rest of the evening. I ran my fingers through my hair before pulling it up into a sloppy ponytail on top of my head.

Why hadn't Cat ever mentioned Zac to me?

I just couldn't figure it out, and I finally decided I needed to talk to someone about this, so I picked up the phone and dialed Melanie's phone number. Melanie was my cousin. She was actually my step cousin. Her dad married my aunt Hadley when we were six, but Mel, Cat, and I had been best friends from the first time we met.

I half expected to pick up the phone and hear Cat gabbing away. I was still used to sharing a phone line with her, so it was weird for me to be able to pick up the phone and talk anytime I wanted without Cat yelling in my ear she was talking to someone.

I sighed as I dialed Mel's number and listened to it ring a few times before she picked up.

"What?" she screeched into the phone.

I held the phone away from my ear and made a face. "Mel?" I said timidly.

"Oh, sorry, An," she laughed. "I thought you were Brent," she explained.

"Oh," I said, rolling my eyes at the mention of her boyfriend's name. "You two have a fight?"

"Of course," she said with a sigh.

"What about this time?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing really," Melanie sighed. "He was just being a complete ass today when we went out."

'Isn't he always an ass?' I thought, rolling my eyes slightly as I grabbed a bottle of nail polish and began to paint my fingernails.

"Oh," I replied.

"So, what about you?" Melanie asked. "Didn't you go to Dean's parents' house today?"

"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "I really hate Barbara. I'm boycotting the next visit."

Melanie laughed. "I'd like to witness this," she commented. "What did she do this time that was so terrible?"

I sighed softly and explained to her about meeting Zac at the park and him thinking that I was Cat and Barbara grilling me about him during dinner.

"Did Cat ever mention a guy named Zac to you?" I asked curiously.

"Not that I remember," Melanie said thoughtfully. "She never mentioned him to you?"

"Nope," I said. "And this guy was gorgeous. It's hard to believe Cat wouldn't mention him."

"I don't know, Ana," Melanie said. "Maybe she'd just met him before … I mean, maybe she didn't have a chance to the tell you about him …"

"Before she died, you mean," I finished. Mel had been dancing around using words associated with dying for the last year. I hated it how people seemed to think I was going to crack if I heard the word 'dead.' I wasn't that fragile. It seemed like everyone else were the ones that were having trouble hearing those words.

"Yeah," Melanie replied softly.

"I guess that would explain it," I sighed.

"So, are you going to call him?" Melanie asked.

"Yeah, I just don't know when," I answered as I finished painting my nails and waved my hands through the air trying to dry them. "I mean, he seemed like a nice guy, and he was so gorgeous. And he seemed like he had really been into Cat, ya know? I mean, most guys wouldn't even bother to approach a girl that supposedly blew them off, but he did … I just don't know how to tell him. And I don't want to wait too long to call him because I think he was getting the feeling I was blowing him off today, but telling him Cat's gone over the phone doesn't seem right to me."

"Well, maybe you could call him and ask him to meet you somewhere?" Melanie suggested.

"Like where? He lives an hour away," I replied.

"You're still going up to Carissa's next week to stay, right?" Melanie asked.

Carissa was our other cousin. She was also our age, and every summer Mel, Cat, and I would go up to our aunt and uncle's place and stay for a week. They lived right by the ocean, and we'd go out on their boat and lay out on the beach. It was always the highlight of our summer.

I hadn't gone the year before because Cat died a few weeks before, and I didn't feel like doing much more than locking myself in my room and crying. Somehow mom and Mel convinced me to go this year.

"Yeah, I'm going," I finally answered.

"Well, Cari only lives about twenty minutes from Barbara and Charlie's, so maybe you could ask Zac to meet you somewhere in the middle. And me and Cari can tag along and see how gorgeous this guy really is," Melanie replied. I could tell that she was grinning. Leave it to her to want to go boy scouting when I'm trying to figure out how to tell this guy my sister was dead.

I sighed. "Although I hate to admit it, that's a pretty good idea, Mel. I don't know about you and Cari tagging along, but I'll think about it and try to call Zac early this week," I replied.

"Why don't you want me and Cari to tag along?" she asked. "I wanna see this guy!"

"Mel, I'm going to tell him Cat is dead!" I exclaimed.

"I know," she finally replied. "I'm sorry. I'm being insensitive. But maybe Cari and me should tag along just in case. We could wait in the car or something."

"Just in case of what?" I asked, making a face in the mirror.

"Well, you don't really know anything about this guy. He could be a psychopath or something … Cat didn't always go for the most orthodox guys, ya know?"

I couldn't help but crack a smile. That was true. Some of the guys Cat dated had been pretty out there. I distinctively remember the guy that reminded me of Marilyn Manson. He actually scared Hurley. When Hurley saw him, he burst into tears. I think our mom was scared of him too because she just sort of stood there and stared the first time she met him. Luckily, that relationship hadn't lasted long.

"Well, he looked pretty normal to me," I commented.

"Looks can be deceiving," Melanie pointed out. "Ted Bundy was a normal looking guy, and he turned out to be a serial killer."

"Mel, shut up," I sighed. "You've been spending far too much time watching A&E," I commented.

"Hey, it's not my fault! Brent loves those crime shows," she replied.

"Maybe you should be worried about Brent being a psychopath if he's spending that much time watching crime shows," I pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she replied, sighing heavily.

"Well, I'm gonna let you go," I said. "I'm gonna go see if we have anything to eat around here. I sort of lost my appetite after Barbara made me feel two feet tall."

"Well, she's just an old bitch," Melanie commented. "Don't let her get to you."

"I know, I know," I said. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, I might go shopping later this week. Wanna come?" she asked.

"Sure, I have tomorrow, Monday, and Friday off," I answered.

"Well, I have to work Friday, so wanna go on Monday?" Melanie asked.

"Sounds good. I'll talk to you later," I said before saying a quick goodbye and hanging up the phone.

I blew on my fingers one last time to make sure they were dry before I stood up and slipped on my fuzzy blue slippers and headed down to the kitchen.

As I walked into the kitchen, I could hear my mom talking on the phone. She smiled at me as I walked over to the refrigerator, but I pretended not to see. I made a vow to myself never to speak to my mother or Dean again. I knew that it wouldn’t last long, but I was angry neither of them came to my defense at dinner.

"Ana, what time are you supposed to get off of work on Saturday?" my mom asked as I looked through the refrigerator. I cursed under my breath. There went my vow of silence. I'd have to answer her or most likely end up grounded. I shut the refrigerator door and started to turn to speak, but I saw the dry erase board on the front of the refrigerator and grabbed the marker and scribbled down four o'clock. I turned to her and pointed at it.

She gave me a look before turning her attention back to the phone. "She says she has to work until four."

I went back to looking through the refrigerator as she continued to talk to whoever it was on the phone. As I was fixing myself a sandwich, she got off of the phone.

"That was your uncle Alden. He and Carissa are coming down to pick you and Melanie up on Saturday," she commented. "Alden said he'd like to be headed back home by five, so you'll have to pack all of your stuff on Friday night, okay?"

I simply nodded as I put the remaining food back in the refrigerator.

"Ana, aren't you a little too old to be giving me the silent treatment?" my mom asked.

I shrugged as I picked up my sandwich and headed back upstairs for my room. I sat back down at my desk and switched the computer on as I ate my sandwich. I knew my mom was right. I was too old be giving her the silent treatment, but if Barbara was going to treat me like a child and no one was going to come to my defense, then I figured I might as well act like a child.

After the computer was booted up, I logged onto the internet and finished off my sandwich as I was checking my email, which mostly consisted of junk mail. I went to my website and logged in and started to blog about my day.

As I was typing my little heart away, my thoughts drifted to Cat. She’d been the one who convinced me to get into the whole web phenomenon of 'blogging.' At first the idea of keeping a sort of online journal scared me senseless. I didn't want a bunch of strangers reading about me and what I thought. More importantly, I didn't want people I knew to read it, but somehow Cat convinced me.

"Listen, you don't even have to tell me the URL," she’d said. "And I won't tell you mine, so that way neither of us knows what the other is saying, so we're even."

I’d simply sighed and nodded my head in agreement. I always gave into Cat. She probably could have convinced me to jump off a bridge if she used the right line.

It had been awkward for me at first, and not to mention I knew nothing about HTML and had to have Cat help me with just about everything. She even designed my layouts. She was so creative. She always said she wanted to do something in the area of design, and she would have been great at it. She was convinced she was going to teach me about graphic design - and she did.

We even started making layouts for one another. It became a routine for us. Wednesday night was design night. She'd bring her laptop into my room and work on a layout for me while I worked on hers. When we were both finished, we'd reveal them to one another. Over time she had me just as excited about web and graphic design as she was.

Many times we spent so much of our time designing we failed to work on our homework and would wind up staying up half the night trying to finish. At least I would. Cat usually gave up and crashed. Then she'd beg me to help her the next morning.

Needless to say, blogging and the internet became part of my every day life - especially after Cat died. I'd come home from school or after work and pour out my soul, and then I'd let a bunch of strangers read it, and it didn't bother me anymore. In fact, it became a coping mechanism for me. People would leave words of encouragement or send me instant messages offering me an ear to listen. I doubt I would have ever survived without using the internet as my safe haven.

It always felt safe for me because I could always just walk away from conversations when things began to get too hard to talk about - unlike with my family, who always seemed to be up in my face checking on me. I knew they were only trying to help, but a lot of the time I felt like I was being suffocated.

After updating my site, I went to visit some my online friends’ sites. Sometimes I wondered about Cat's blog. I wondered what the address was. I wondered what she wrote about - if she talked about me. If she did, what kind of things did she say about me? Did she keep any secrets from me? And more importantly - due to recent events - had she wrote about Zac?

I jumped when there was a knock at the door bringing me right back to reality.

"Come in," I sighed, turning around in my seat to see whom it was.

My mom entered the room with her hands behind her back. She brought one hand around in front of her and waved around a bag of cheddar cheese pretzel combos - my favorite.

"I thought you might still be hungry," she commented as she tossed them to me. I caught them effortlessly and pulled open the top and popped a couple in my mouth.

I saw my mom smiling at me. I knew what she was up to, so I swung around in my chair and brought up Notepad.

Are you trying to bribe me? I typed.

My mom walked over and read over my shoulder. I looked up at her expectantly.

"Anastasia Elizabeth, you think I'd sink so low as to bribe my own daughter?" she asked with a look of mock shock all over her face.

I simply nodded and she let out a heavy sigh before bringing her other arm out in front of her and tossing a dark chocolate Hershey's bar - another favorite - into my lap.

"Oh, you caught me," she said as she walked over and sat down lazily on my bed. I turned around in my chair once again to face her.

"Now will you please just talk to me?" she asked wearily.

"Fine," I sighed, giving in and breaking my vow of silence. "Why did you let Barbara talk to me like that tonight? I didn't do a damn thing wrong and she was treating me like I was the devil incarnate."

"First of all, watch your mouth," she began. "And second of all, what could I have done tonight? You know how Barbara is, so why didn't you just tell her what she wanted to know?"

"Because it was none of her damn business," I spat. My mom gave me a look and I rolled my eyes.

"Excuse me, dang business," I corrected. "And what could you have done? You could have told her to lay off! You know how she likes to pick on me, and I hate it! Then the old hag had the audacity to make me call her grandma after she treats me like the wicked step-grandchild and I've never done a thing wrong to her!" I exclaimed.

"Stop yelling. My hearing is fine," my mom replied. "And if I'm not mistaken, I do recall you getting rather snippy with Barbara tonight."

"Only after she grilled me about absolutely nothing," I replied angrily.

"I believe nothing was a guy," she pointed out. "Could it be he was not simply 'no one' or 'nobody' as you so eloquently claimed earlier?" she smirked.

"No," I replied firmly. "But it could be I didn't really want to talk about it at the dinner table in front of everyone when it was no one else's business other than my own."

My mom sighed and shook her head. "Well, maybe next time you could just tell Barbara what she wants to know and things may go smoother then."

"Yeah, well, there won't be a next time," I replied.

"Oh, yeah?" my mom replied, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Because I'm not going back."

My mom gave me a disapproving frown as she stood up. "We'll see about that," she commented as she walked over to the door.

I knew that she didn't believe me, but I was determined to stand by my word this time. “I mean it, mom," I said.

She waved her hand around as if to say 'whatever' as she let out a loud yawn. "I'm going to bed, Ana. Don't stay up too late, and we'll talk about this later."

"Oh, I'm sure we will," I muttered as she left the room.